Howard Gets Owned…(a part of an occasional series)

April 25, 2006

Howard Liu and I use to have JAVA together junior year. Man, that guy could be funny at times! Now our teacher, Mr. Peck, is one of those guys who always looks at you like you're stupid. If he looks at you and wants you to feel stupid, you will and you'll know that you're annoying him. If you ask him a question, good or bad, he'll look at you like you're stupid and like you're bothering him. After every lecture, he would ask if anyone had any questions. It was like setting bait. Anyone who raised their hand would get The Look. You know what I'm talking about if you've had him, and this story is just even better for you.
We take quizzes regularly in this class, and the quizzes are casually laid out on a few desks at the front of the room after they've been graded. I went up to get my quizzes, and I suddenly had a great idea. Now, Howard was the type of guy who begged the smart underclassmen in our class to help him with his programming. He is a natural begger. That is why it was so easy to execute my great idea. He spends everyday doing this, frantically scurrying from his hosts, scavenging bits and pieces of data that he uses to magically get a better overall grade than me. Consequently, he is always confused in class and has no idea what is going on.
I take advantage of his incoherent state of mind, and scribble with a red pen, "See me after class" on one of his quizzes then proceed back to my computer with my quizzes.
The minutes tick away, and I wait for Howard to have his contentedness pierced. At the end of class, Howard picks up his quiz, looks at it, looks away "Yes! Perfect!", then looks back at it and that's when his eyes get real big. All the guys start laughing (because I told them what I did hahaha).

Howard: Oh crap!
Me: What?
Howard: HAHAHA! Good one Andrew! HAHAHAHA! ALMOST got me there.
Me: Huh? What are you talking about?
Howard: (that smile that Howard does when he thinks he knows everything)
Me: (I look at his paper) Wow dude, he must have found out about the website that has all the answers to the quizzes!
Howard: HAHAHAHAHAHA! (laughs like a maniac, starts foaming at the mouth)
Me: Howard, I'm not going to sit next to you if you're going to do that…
Howard: Uh…Wait. You didn't write this on my paper?!
Me: …No. That's stupid.
Howard: Oh my God. You're serious. You're really serious. OH MY GOD! CRAP! #@$%@#! #$$%&! #$%! (Starts talking to himself). Oh man, NO WAY! He won't remember. blah blah blah…
Me: Think of it this way, we still have one more semester to go, and if he does remember it will be worse for you to not go than to do go.

*bell rings

Howard: Okay, bye Andrew! (runs out of the class)

The next day…

I get into the classroom and Howard jumps out of his seat with his fist raised. He's so funny when he's serious.

Howard: ANDREW!!
For the next 40 minutes, Mr. Peck starts reading a website about JAVA to us during which the class intermittently starts to laugh. Mr. Peck thinks he's doing a good job making JAVA fun, not realizing that we are all laughing at Howard. Later, Howard retells his ordeal that will forever be engraved in stone tablets for posterity…

Howard: The whole night I was scared, thinking about what to do. I had a nightmare last night…so I came in at brunch to see him!!

Howard: (walks the whole length of the classroom to this little dark corner) You wanted to see me Mr. Peck?
Mr. Peck: No…
Howard: Uh, yes you did because –
Mr. Peck: (The Annoyed You're Stupid Look) I did NOT want to see you Howard…

Now by this point, you can imagine that Howard's English got real bad, real fast, so he sounded like a complete idiot, and I'm sure he looked like a very confused one too. It must have been priceless.

Howard: Oh but uh, because on my paper you wrote this (shaky finger points)
Mr. Peck: I didn't write that…
Howard: OH! …You didn't?
Mr. Peck: The Look.
Howard: Oh…are you sure!?
Mr. Peck: The Look.
Howard: Oh hahaha! I bet one of the guys did this. Sorry Mr. Peck. Have a good brunch! (runs out, probably crying from embarrassment)

Ever since that, whenever Howard did something that someone didn't like, the response would always be: "SEE ME AFTER CLASS!" Mr. Peck would always smile whenever someone said that, so I made sure to take every opportunity! HAHAHAHAHA!


One Response to “Howard Gets Owned…(a part of an occasional series)”

  1. Justin Chow said


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